Up until I turned 40 I spent years wishing that my stomach was flat and my thighs weren’t so thick. I would suck in my stomach in front of the mirror, somehow believing that if I could just be slimmer it would be ok. And I would fantasize about the way my life would be once my stomach was flatter and I could stick to a diet. I wished for another body because I saw in others their own insecurities, and they projected those onto me without even realizing it. And the pressure in our society to be within modern standards of beauty didn’t help.
I started my first diet at the age of 14 when my friend Sarah and I sat by the pool talking about drinking Tab instead of Coke. I vowed to make the switch so I could save calories and finally have the body of my dreams. 14 is a time when we should be developing into strong, secure women, not worrying about the calories we consumed and what we were going to do to rectify our actions! It was the first of many personal choices to wish for something I felt was just in reach but not close enough.
For years I believed with all of my heart I was not good enough. And I didn’t understand that until I learned to see myself as beautiful as I am I would never be happy. The irony was that for much of my life I had a flat stomach. I just didn’t believe it because I was always told that it was not ok. No matter how flat my stomach was or what the number on the scale said I was never going to be content until I learned to a accept myself and understand what had happened.
Magazines and ads frequently portray and perpetuate unrealistic standards of beauty, then write articles on how you can become your most perfect self by following these easy 10 steps. When I watched a retoucher enlarge eyes, slim cheekbones, and accentuate breasts in a groundbreaking Dove advertisement I was shocked. And then I started looking at other magazines and saw that they were all doing it. I realized that although I wanted to photograph women I didn’t want to perpetuate the negative stereotypes about what a woman should be and how she should look.
When I decided to shoot boudoir I knew I wanted to portray real women, as they are. In my studio I give women a space where they can fully express themselves in front of my camera. With my photographs I show them how incredible and strong they are once they are willing to let go of the things that hold them back. Women leave with a newfound confidence that has ripple effects on their whole life. Their inner dialogue changes. Their significant others love their newfound confidence and their ability to see themselves in the way they have always seen them. And they learn not to perpetuate the myths that keep women imprisoned in a negative spiral of shame and self-loathing.
It's my mission to be a champion for women everywhere and help them celebrate who they are, as they are. But I could never do that if I didn’t go through my own journey regarding self-acceptance. I’ve never been happier, more fulfilled, and in touch with myself, and I want the same for you. I truly believe that your ideal body is the one you have. Embrace it, love it, and treat it like the true miracle it is.